Do you like it when someone is rude, angry or unhelpful to you? No. me neither! I don’t think anyone does. At best it can be confusing and at worst, quite hurtful. It doesn’t matter if its someone we know well or a stranger in the street. If we take on their negativity we share in it. If we participate in the process, we can allow it to have a negative impact on how we feel. Assuming you don’t feel that you deserve that other person’s wrath, what can you do?
There are three simple ways you can programme yourself to have a mechanism to deal with this challenge.
- Develop A Pause Button
As you feel anger or hurt well up inside you, have the strength to pause. Take a moment to think. This gives you time to respond rather that react. It will give you time to act in a way that helps you, rather than tapping in to your inbuilt fight or flight programming. This moment of pause builds on your ability to choose who you are.
- Get Curious
Get curious as to why they are acting in this way. Many people are fighting battles we may know nothing about. This doesn’t excuse their behaviour, but may explain it. By being curious you might learn something about them and begin to understand their negativity. You are also likely to learn that the reason they are acting this way has nothing to do with you. You may even up making a friend…
- Don’t Accept An Unwanted Gift
Step 2 almost always works, but in the unlikely event it doesn’t, think of a gift. If you gave someone a gift, and they politely chose not to accept it, then the gift would still belong to you.
If you choose not to accept the persons gift of negativity, it will remain with them.
Like most thought processes in life, there is only one person on the planet who really has control over how you feel, and that is you. Choose wisely!
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